








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1164 | 30% |
| Smokes | 881 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 744 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1091 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,016 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingsleY | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | ✪Horse | 68% | 38 |
| #3 | Elarose | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | ExampL | 66% | 32 |
| #5 | ^0^ | 65% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Skilly2k | 56% | 16 |
| #12 | AdamJC | 50% | 16 |
| #13 | oskvr | 50% | 16 |
| #14 | Scan !BurstBanjoString | 45% | 11 |
| #15 | sarim | 37% | 30 |





