








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2827 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1258 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2016 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1751 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,312 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrSnugglesFluff | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | Zooch | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | Cakes | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Jaysoos | 55% | 113 |
| #5 | Rusty | 54% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrSnugglesFluff | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | Zooch | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | Cakes | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Jaysoos | 55% | 113 |
| #5 | Rusty | 54% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusty | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Jaysoos | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | MrSnugglesFluff | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Zooch | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusty | 236 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Zooch | 196 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jaysoos | 145 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | MrSnugglesFluff | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cakes | 63 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zooch | +4.19 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | LaRocca | +2.48 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | Cakes | +1.33 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | MrSnugglesFluff | -1.08 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | Jaysoos | -1.11 | 71 | 58 |





