








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1038 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1310 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1488 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 945 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $793,168 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dai` | 50% | 147 |
| #5 | nazzzty | 50% | 148 |
| #6 | Cornholio | 48% | 103 |
| #7 | pr0°ChrexX | 47% | 32 |
| #8 | GIGACHAD | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nazzzty | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Cornholio | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | pr0°ChrexX | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | dai` | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | GIGACHAD | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dai` | 194 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | nazzzty | 150 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Cornholio | 133 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | pr0°ChrexX | 104 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | GIGACHAD | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 阿爾賓暗黑 | +3.32 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | nazzzty | +1.54 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | TomS | +1.12 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | pr0°ChrexX | +0.72 | 46 | 73 |
| #5 | GIGACHAD | +0.43 | 72 | 68 |





