








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 731 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 436 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3711 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3213 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4944 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3252 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,728,192 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GIGACHAD | 428 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | nazzzty | 384 | 0.04 | 11 min |
| #3 | pr0°ChrexX | 280 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cornholio | 277 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | TomS | 265 | 0.11 | 7 min |





