








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
236 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 45 | 16% |
| Smokes | 76 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 88 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 70 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $12,686 of utility $14 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruokimua | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Jul1us | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | mattagyyyys | 40% | 40 |
| #4 | Mafia Apina | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | Bardcore | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jul1us | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | mattagyyyys | 40% | 40 |
| #4 | Mafia Apina | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | Bardcore | 27% | 15 |
| #6 | Ruokimua | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruokimua | 3 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | mattagyyyys | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Bardcore | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Jul1us | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mattagyyyys | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Bardcore | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ruokimua | 23 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Jul1us | 16 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ruokimua | 15 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruokimua | +5.26 | 62 | 77 |
| #2 | Ruokimua | +1.93 | 39 | 55 |
| #3 | mattagyyyys | +1.59 | 53 | 45 |
| #4 | Jul1us | +0.98 | 58 | 57 |
| #5 | Bardcore | -0.18 | 68 | 43 |





