








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 941 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4919 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1971 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 5337 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4598 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,479,986 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DiagonaLiX / | 52% | 62 |
| #6 | ✪ Infinite | 50% | 161 |
| #7 | Derv1sh | 47% | 259 |
| #8 | ertotom | 42% | 91 |
| #9 | Pontanami | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derv1sh | 28 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | ✪ Infinite | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | FalafeL | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | DiagonaLiX / | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Le´Ozziato | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Infinite | 473 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | Derv1sh | 277 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | FalafeL | 180 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | ertotom | 162 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | DiagonaLiX / | 133 | 0.10 | 3 min |





