








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 577 | 22% |
| Smokes | 377 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1250 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 428 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,017 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Deadly | 63% | 68 |
| #4 | şeytani lecso | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | fasthand | 59% | 91 |
| #6 | ✪ InfuriatingBean2011 ⛟ | 57% | 21 |
| #7 | targonca60 | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fasthand | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Déjà vu | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ✪ InfuriatingBean2011 ⛟ | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | şeytani lecso | 3 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Deadly | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deadly | 383 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #2 | Déjà vu | 304 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | fasthand | 298 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | targonca60 | 101 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ InfuriatingBean2011 ⛟ | 65 | 0.15 | 1 min |





