










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 927 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1369 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1929 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1575 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,323,365 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M a t | 52% | 69 |
| #2 | Egon | 47% | 208 |
| #3 | DavidGA | 47% | 146 |
| #4 | This is Mike | 43% | 86 |
| #5 | tøs Station | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Egon | 47% | 208 |
| #3 | DavidGA | 47% | 146 |
| #4 | This is Mike | 43% | 86 |
| #5 | tøs Station | 42% | 59 |
| #6 | Enzone Station | 40% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egon | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | DavidGA | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | This is Mike | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Enzone Station | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | M a t | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DavidGA | 367 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Egon | 345 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | This is Mike | 284 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | M a t | 236 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Enzone Station | 203 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enzone Station | +2.18 | 93 | 66 |
| #2 | Egon | +1.51 | 86 | 54 |
| #3 | M a t | +0.58 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | DavidGA | -0.76 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | Leukos | -0.92 | 78 | 54 |





