








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3575 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3163 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3022 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2900 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,131 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lebowski | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | murlis | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | mel | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | pako | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Rhedox | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Med.DenRasen | 265 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | lebowski | 256 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | murlis | 255 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | jxlixn0.1k | 212 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | Weisswurst | 189 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Retinazer | +2.47 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | lebowski | +1.67 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | The Jegue Man | +1.18 | 68 | 78 |
| #4 | mel | +1.05 | 67 | 66 |
| #5 | jxlixn0.1k | +1.03 | 56 | 74 |





