








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 38 | 34% |
| Smokes | 32 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 24 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 19 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $28,100 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haustial | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Shero | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | duckworld | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | Mr. Virus | 86% | 7 |
| #5 | SleepingPaws | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haustial | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Shero | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | duckworld | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | Mr. Virus | 86% | 7 |
| #5 | SleepingPaws | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haustial | 2 | 0.0377 |
| #2 | Mr. Virus | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haustial | 29 | 0.55 | 1 min |
| #2 | Shero | 15 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | duckworld | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Mr. Virus | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | SleepingPaws | 3 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haustial | +7.06 | 54 | 62 |
| #2 | SleepingPaws | +4.83 | 80 | 27 |
| #3 | Shero | +3.62 | 93 | 30 |
| #4 | duckworld | +2.47 | 49 | 46 |
| #5 | UknTatsu | +0.94 | 77 | 51 |





