








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3385 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3611 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2932 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1986 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,194,149 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ 《《 F[]X 》》 ☆ | 846 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | Im-Dubini♥ | 660 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #3 | 人斬りHOLY | 408 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #4 | kxuzz | 397 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | razwow | 284 | 0.08 | 7 min |





