








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 296 | 7% |
| Smokes | 758 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1880 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 1215 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,858 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 700 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | TIMTAM | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | martxl | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Leone | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | sip | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Judgeman | 17 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Darkpit | 9 | 0.0163 |
| #3 | Gav | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Leone | 4 | 0.0117 |
| #5 | 鸡兽CHICKENBEAST | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Judgeman | 344 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | 鸡兽CHICKENBEAST | 118 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gav | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | scobes.jmg | 93 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Darkpit | 91 | 0.17 | 1 min |





