








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1752 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 700 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 303 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5106 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6855 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8670 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 8019 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,902,700 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2521 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Jhon schnitler | 48% | 82 |
| #11 | fvtherfigure | 46% | 92 |
| #12 | Zebruary | 45% | 214 |
| #13 | s n o o z e | 42% | 114 |
| #14 | dazzaglee24 | 30% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chOnk | 61 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Zebruary | 27 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | rayzaya | 20 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | s n o o z e | 20 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | moeshi | 18 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f1mple | 824 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | chOnk | 804 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Шοοđ | 346 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | rayzaya | 285 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | orbitalhoon | 236 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAN | +2.75 | 46 | 69 |
| #2 | f1mple | +1.93 | 39 | 68 |
| #3 | Zebruary | +1.27 | 71 | 24 |
| #4 | chOnk | +1.18 | 59 | 33 |
| #5 | SoulGaming | +0.89 | 49 | 55 |





