








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2405 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1365 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1234 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1651 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $783,893 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChaosGeneral | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | walter | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | Gluggenn | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | korean hannibal | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | bunBEAST | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OvalaMonken | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | bunBEAST | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | korean hannibal | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Gluggenn | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | walter | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OvalaMonken | 521 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | korean hannibal | 182 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #3 | Gluggenn | 98 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | walter | 90 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | bunBEAST | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walter | +8.15 | 91 | 76 |
| #2 | korean hannibal | +4.12 | 91 | 76 |
| #3 | OvalaMonken | +0.38 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | Abbi Lään | +0.26 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | bunBEAST | -0.16 | 65 | 66 |





