








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4444 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2259 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3430 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2444 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $813,932 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiki | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Abbi Lään | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | yes i am deaf | 55% | 80 |
| #4 | 0pr3l | 50% | 123 |
| #5 | OvalaMonken | 48% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Abbi Lään | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | yes i am deaf | 55% | 80 |
| #4 | 0pr3l | 50% | 123 |
| #5 | OvalaMonken | 48% | 128 |
| #6 | Gluggenn | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OvalaMonken | 18 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | 0pr3l | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | yes i am deaf | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Tiki | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Gluggenn | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OvalaMonken | 406 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | Gluggenn | 346 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #3 | yes i am deaf | 209 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | 0pr3l | 196 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Abbi Lään | 93 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiki | +2.89 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | OvalaMonken | +2.12 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | Abbi Lään | +1.58 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | bunBEAST | +0.73 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | Gluggenn | -0.54 | 59 | 82 |





