








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1000 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,320 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 972 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2552 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3801 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3995 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,745,726 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1879 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krzy | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | BucketHead | 54% | 115 |
| #3 | dinger | 54% | 184 |
| #4 | JS3 | 52% | 107 |
| #5 | Albert D | 51% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JS3 | 52% | 107 |
| #5 | Albert D | 51% | 277 |
| #6 | #SweetTea | 51% | 92 |
| #7 | cg_bob | 49% | 45 |
| #8 | dmorgia | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albert D | 28 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | dinger | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | BucketHead | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | dmorgia | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | #SweetTea | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dinger | 1099 | 0.27 | 38 min |
| #2 | Albert D | 865 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #3 | JS3 | 211 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | #SweetTea | 149 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | BucketHead | 94 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krzy | +2.08 | 89 | 50 |
| #2 | dinger | +1.82 | 75 | 85 |
| #3 | Taylor Swift Lover | +1.52 | 65 | 37 |
| #4 | Albert D | +1.21 | 49 | 75 |
| #5 | #SweetTea | -0.02 | 75 | 57 |





