








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 235 | 12% |
| Smokes | 492 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 742 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 493 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,469 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perfecto Bond | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Pedro | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Clemiboy | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | ResponsibleFruit | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | Futkarli | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Futkarli | 56% | 16 |
| #6 | getschi | 56% | 63 |
| #7 | Ingrimmsch | 53% | 40 |
| #8 | Nicolein | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Appelschorle | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | getschi | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Ingrimmsch | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Clemiboy | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Futkarli | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Pedro | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | getschi | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Ingrimmsch | 77 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Clemiboy | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | ResponsibleFruit | 43 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pedro | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedro | +2.35 | 51 | 61 |
| #2 | getschi | +1.56 | 67 | 51 |
| #3 | texterplays1 | +1.11 | 43 | 53 |
| #4 | Ingrimmsch | +1.05 | 52 | 65 |
| #5 | Perfecto Bond | +0.00 | 38 | 25 |





