








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 377 | 25% |
| Smokes | 449 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 267 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 435 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,580 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Pseudo-Sacrosanct Perversion | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | BOT Kirchir | 40% | 20 |
| #10 | Plop | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | Crypt | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | Tangled Violet | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Kirchir | 8 | 0.0248 |
| #2 | Bea | 7 | 0.0258 |
| #3 | Gr3nad3n | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Xip | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Disabled | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Kirchir | 72 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | Disabled | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Xip | 31 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | HyperE141 | 24 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #5 | Crypt | 20 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crypt | +3.07 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | Disabled | +2.85 | 76 | 48 |
| #3 | BOT Kirchir | +2.49 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Nagasaki | +2.26 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | HyperE141 | +1.48 | 39 | 62 |





