








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 116 | 38% |
| Smokes | 35 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 69 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 89 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $9,838 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NRVDMG™ | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Gr3nad3n | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Xip | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Gandalf the Grey | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | JBWinik | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nagasaki | 4 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Xip | 2 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | BOT Kirchir | 2 | 0.0177 |
| #4 | Gr3nad3n | 2 | 0.0364 |
| #5 | SorA- | 1 | 0.0238 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | endless | 38 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #2 | Nagasaki | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | BOT Kirchir | 20 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Branden12 | 16 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Xip | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gr3nad3n | +7.08 | 28 | 60 |
| #2 | Disabled | +5.03 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | JBWinik | +3.63 | 71 | 51 |
| #4 | Branden12 | +2.75 | 51 | 52 |
| #5 | Nagasaki | +2.26 | 69 | 52 |





