








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2082 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4783 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5288 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4114 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,747 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =MDR= Zoulag | 336 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | =MDR=² mỖ几ч в | 261 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | =MDR= NubS` | 165 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | SAVIORS | 156 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | =MDR= ORTHO (T) | 110 | 0.04 | 3 min |





