








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 319 | 24% |
| Smokes | 356 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 212 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 436 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $157,619 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hopedarklord | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | SQUIGGER | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Kairos | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Ugandan Kuckles | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SQUIGGER | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Kairos | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Ugandan Kuckles | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Pugpants | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ugandan Kuckles | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ugandan Kuckles | 99 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kairos | 66 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pugpants | 37 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | SQUIGGER | 17 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hopedarklord | +6.73 | 97 | 44 |
| #2 | Pugpants | +1.02 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | Ugandan Kuckles | +0.57 | 69 | 76 |
| #4 | SQUIGGER | +0.19 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | Kairos | +0.09 | 36 | 57 |





