








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3407 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2900 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2279 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2487 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,519 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Tyr | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | 1Nflamey | 75% | 20 |
| #3 | Dyno | 74% | 23 |
| #4 | ✪Jean^^ | 73% | 22 |
| #5 | Oom Boom™ | 70% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | TeddyBearFace™ | 59% | 32 |
| #14 | DWoods | 58% | 31 |
| #15 | Dil | 56% | 79 |
| #16 | P did it | 50% | 16 |
| #17 | 4PRENT1CE™ | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | | ProteinBeast | | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Dil | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Oom Boom™ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | 1Nflamey | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | ProteinBeast | | 529 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Dil | 252 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Oom Boom™ | 148 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | FoX | 123 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Evo™ | 116 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decay | +4.94 | 91 | 72 |
| #2 | Oom Boom™ | +4.61 | 84 | 77 |
| #3 | Evo™ | +4.23 | 79 | 75 |
| #4 | ✪Jean^^ | +4.22 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | Dil | +2.09 | 68 | 72 |





