








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2136 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2272 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1623 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1867 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $474,523 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bagel | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | djay | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | FATGUY | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | Outback | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | amic- | 67% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phol guyx | 278 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | 2dog | 98 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cinna | 83 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | bagel | 76 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | BiNoX | 64 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Outback | +2.94 | 94 | 72 |
| #2 | hi | +2.62 | 88 | 60 |
| #3 | BiNoX | +2.34 | 85 | 56 |
| #4 | djay | +2.06 | 87 | 79 |
| #5 | amic- | +1.76 | 91 | 44 |





