








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 591 | 34% |
| Smokes | 345 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 198 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 612 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $291,880 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gohan | 53% | 45 |
| #2 | Gongen | 51% | 49 |
| #3 | The Little Giant ✪ | 50% | 78 |
| #4 | OB3S3CAM3L | 49% | 70 |
| #5 | ForceByte | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Little Giant ✪ | 27 | 0.0175 |
| #2 | OB3S3CAM3L | 12 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | gohan | 12 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | Gongen | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | ForceByte | 5 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gohan | 193 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | OB3S3CAM3L | 181 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | ForceByte | 169 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gongen | 146 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | The Little Giant ✪ | 140 | 0.09 | 3 min |





