








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 592 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1355 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1831 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1123 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,385,580 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mortl | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | svenson | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | $n@k3 | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Faceman | 49% | 138 |
| #5 | ❤︎ѕнє ԃєνιℓ❤ | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mooskugel | 44% | 41 |
| #8 | Franz | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | Blubber Bernd | 42% | 31 |
| #10 | Im OG and u BG | 37% | 30 |
| #11 | WhiiteLion | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faceman | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | Mooskugel | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | $n@k3 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faceman | 104 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mooskugel | 100 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | svenson | 88 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kattagott | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Im OG and u BG | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im OG and u BG | +1.69 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | Kattagott | +1.06 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | svenson | +0.89 | 56 | 66 |
| #4 | EepyLisa ♥ | +0.56 | 59 | 42 |
| #5 | $n@k3 | +0.11 | 28 | 68 |





