








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 673 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1903 | 9% |
| Smokes | 8248 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 9531 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 2003 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,354,290 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im OG and u BG | 56% | 156 |
| #2 | Racist Carrot | 50% | 118 |
| #3 | EepyLisa ♥ | 49% | 138 |
| #4 | Kattagott | 47% | 108 |
| #5 | Franz | 47% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Franz | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | $n@k3 | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | svenson | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Blubber Bernd | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | EepyLisa ♥ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | svenson | 432 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Franz | 374 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Blubber Bernd | 267 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | Crackhead Dolphin | 267 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Kattagott | 253 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im OG and u BG | +2.63 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Kattagott | +1.57 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | Crackhead Dolphin | +1.39 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | EepyLisa ♥ | +1.17 | 60 | 45 |
| #5 | svenson | +0.68 | 54 | 66 |





