








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 505 | 20% |
| Smokes | 936 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 746 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 363 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,638 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asteriiks | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Rabid | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | KingSlayerXX | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Turp | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | Rabid | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rabid | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | KingSlayerXX | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Turp | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | Rabid | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | leenanah | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asteriiks | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Rabid | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turp | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | Rabid | 45 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rabid | 43 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | KingSlayerXX | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | leenanah | 22 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabid | +4.80 | 69 | 67 |
| #2 | Rabid | +4.09 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | Asteriiks | +2.57 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | leenanah | +0.85 | 72 | 49 |
| #5 | KingSlayerXX | +0.61 | 49 | 51 |





