








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 647 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5737 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8555 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 9067 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4981 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,186,514 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebastiano //11// | 56% | 116 |
| #2 | bAisouiLLe | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Utsume | 51% | 462 |
| #4 | Statik | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Orvie | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | terry94 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 47% | 60 |
| #8 | _Nidhogg_ | 45% | 47 |
| #9 | Albator | 43% | 120 |
| #10 | VegolasZer | 43% | 47 |
| #11 | Pyk | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ekko | 22 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Utsume | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Albator | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Sebastiano //11// | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | terry94 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ekko | 1711 | 0.18 | 50 min |
| #2 | Utsume | 1197 | 0.12 | 40 min |
| #3 | Albator | 397 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | _Nidhogg_ | 211 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sebastiano //11// | 209 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | terry94 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +1.35 | 73 | 74 |
| #2 | Sebastiano //11// | +1.16 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | bAisouiLLe | +1.02 | 56 | 73 |
| #4 | Dino | +0.93 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | Utsume | +0.24 | 67 | 74 |





