








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 460 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 517 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6022 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6633 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6571 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5467 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,437,583 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orvie | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | Sebastiano //11// | 52% | 69 |
| #3 | Ekko | 51% | 367 |
| #4 | Dino | 51% | 462 |
| #5 | Albator | 40% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sebastiano //11// | 52% | 69 |
| #3 | Ekko | 51% | 367 |
| #4 | Dino | 51% | 462 |
| #5 | Albator | 40% | 104 |
| #6 | VegolasZer | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ekko | 24 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Dino | 11 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Albator | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Sebastiano //11// | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | VegolasZer | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dino | 1407 | 0.14 | 43 min |
| #2 | Ekko | 1388 | 0.18 | 41 min |
| #3 | Albator | 319 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Orvie | 120 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sebastiano //11// | 115 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebastiano //11// | +0.83 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | Dino | +0.70 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | Utsume | +0.39 | 68 | 73 |
| #4 | Ekko | -0.68 | 52 | 74 |
| #5 | Orvie | -1.17 | 45 | 56 |





