








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 815 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5580 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4333 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2395 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2717 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,083,649 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phyte | 59% | 79 |
| #2 | algel | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | Deags | 56% | 98 |
| #4 | soapno | 53% | 124 |
| #5 | OhNi | 53% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karp | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Deags | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Crow | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Moofs | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | soapno | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moofs | 1099 | 0.23 | 24 min |
| #2 | hyperac | 922 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | OhNi | 504 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | soapno | 270 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | karp | 211 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RuJynX | +4.65 | 89 | 75 |
| #2 | Moofs | +1.14 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | Deags | +0.80 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | Crow | -0.14 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | OhNi | -1.11 | 69 | 75 |





