








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 361 | 38% |
| Smokes | 155 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 211 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 224 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $17,275 of utility $9 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪L Bozo`BTW | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Blamed | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Gotnoodles? | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Roon | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | DanTrick | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Blamed | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Gotnoodles? | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Roon | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | DanTrick | 46% | 26 |
| #6 | DonLeviathan | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪L Bozo`BTW | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | DonLeviathan | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Gotnoodles? | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DonLeviathan | 135 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | ✪L Bozo`BTW | 60 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gotnoodles? | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Roon | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Blamed | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪L Bozo`BTW | +10.59 | 81 | 50 |
| #2 | DonLeviathan | +3.65 | 69 | 47 |
| #3 | Gotnoodles? | +1.42 | 42 | 59 |
| #4 | Roon | +0.45 | 47 | 56 |
| #5 | DanTrick | -2.48 | 32 | 20 |





