








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 738 | 42% |
| Smokes | 261 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 295 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 446 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,937 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Night | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Blamed | 48% | 46 |
| #3 | ✪L Bozo`BTW | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | MidgetTerminator | 45% | 69 |
| #5 | DanTrick | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪L Bozo`BTW | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | MidgetTerminator | 45% | 69 |
| #5 | DanTrick | 43% | 37 |
| #6 | Roon | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | Gotnoodles? | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanTrick | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ✪L Bozo`BTW | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | MidgetTerminator | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Roon | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪L Bozo`BTW | 68 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | MidgetTerminator | 65 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gotnoodles? | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Roon | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Blamed | 21 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Night | +9.06 | 73 | 72 |
| #2 | ✪L Bozo`BTW | +8.52 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | DonLeviathan | +2.79 | 68 | 45 |
| #4 | Gotnoodles? | +0.91 | 39 | 55 |
| #5 | Roon | +0.04 | 52 | 59 |





