








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2494 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2768 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2341 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1561 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,705,189 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | swag patient 0 | 51% | 189 |
| #10 | Snw | 49% | 174 |
| #11 | tkM^ ツ | 49% | 57 |
| #12 | Apache | 48% | 33 |
| #13 | M.A.D. | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeanNess | 13 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | swag patient 0 | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Snw | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Justirack | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | TheShroom | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag patient 0 | 715 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | Snw | 554 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | BudFly | 385 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #4 | Justirack | 363 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | BeanNess | 352 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BudFly | +3.33 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | J4kenator | +2.26 | 91 | 42 |
| #3 | Tyler | +1.97 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | tkM^ ツ | +0.75 | 76 | 66 |
| #5 | swag patient 0 | +0.38 | 74 | 56 |





