








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 607 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Wingman | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5050 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3927 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3337 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3892 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,103,086 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J4kenator | 55% | 82 |
| #2 | Snw | 53% | 60 |
| #3 | JMS | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | noahJV | 51% | 84 |
| #5 | TheShroom | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apache | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | noahJV | 12 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | drxcode | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | TheShroom | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Val-Raaven | 6 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apache | 1196 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #2 | noahJV | 383 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | drxcode | 317 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | JMS | 232 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | Snw | 216 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J4kenator | +3.70 | 91 | 40 |
| #2 | noahJV | +1.61 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | BeanNess | +1.02 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | JMS | +0.43 | 61 | 70 |
| #5 | Apache | -0.17 | 62 | 66 |





