








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 954 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1271 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1380 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1328 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $288,253 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blue123 | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | OldMateRocky | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | Titan™ | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | sLem0n | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Konig | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ArmD. | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | ᴉnɓ | 40% | 20 |
| #11 | Zem | 39% | 18 |
| #12 | gui | 36% | 58 |
| #13 | Ned279 | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OldMateRocky | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Titan™ | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | sLem0n | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | H | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | gui | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xMoonbearz | 235 | 0.37 | 6 min |
| #2 | gui | 115 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | sLem0n | 99 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Titan™ | 99 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | OldMateRocky | 96 | 0.12 | 3 min |





