










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 602 | 36% |
| Smokes | 421 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 293 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 347 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $135,821 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voilà | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | arcade | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | tatm | 100% | 6 |
| #4 | AlekS | 94% | 17 |
| #5 | papierjongen | 88% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | stizza | 60% | 10 |
| #10 | Tony | 56% | 9 |
| #11 | spud | 50% | 4 |
| #12 | lil trash panda | 20% | 5 |
| #13 | MARKYY | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papierjongen | 6 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | AlekS | 6 | 0.0178 |
| #3 | CrePoW™:) | 5 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | stizza | 3 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | Tony | 3 | 0.0168 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlekS | 100 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #2 | CrePoW™:) | 90 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | papierjongen | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | FRIZZY | 43 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tony | 34 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voilà | +11.62 | 97 | 41 |
| #2 | spud | +5.73 | 95 | 82 |
| #3 | AlekS | +4.69 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | arcade | +3.18 | 73 | 73 |
| #5 | Tony | +2.94 | 77 | 61 |





