








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 367 | 41% |
| Smokes | 199 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 116 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 218 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $198,476 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EddezeNNN | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | papierjongen | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | AlekS | 89% | 9 |
| #4 | CrePoW™:) | 88% | 8 |
| #5 | corn | 82% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlekS | 5 | 0.0294 |
| #2 | corn | 4 | 0.0190 |
| #3 | CrePoW™:) | 4 | 0.0268 |
| #4 | Æsi Spæsi | 3 | 0.0309 |
| #5 | FRIZZY | 2 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlekS | 70 | 0.41 | 2 min |
| #2 | corn | 59 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #3 | FRIZZY | 53 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nonni | 43 | 0.37 | 1 min |
| #5 | EddezeNNN | 28 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papierjongen | +6.19 | 88 | 45 |
| #2 | AlekS | +3.75 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | EddezeNNN | +3.59 | 89 | 71 |
| #4 | TH0R | +3.56 | 94 | 59 |
| #5 | Stjáni Guli | +2.12 | 75 | 45 |





