








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 416 matches | 2,003 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 29 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14103 | 42% |
| Smokes | 8796 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7735 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2967 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,859,542 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Apelgren | 68% | 85 |
| #2 | Defju #FanGirl | 65% | 60 |
| #3 | SF'100% - REJmo | 64% | 137 |
| #4 | ☯ iskall ☯ | 62% | 50 |
| #5 | iiiddan<33 | 60% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT McDreaamyy | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | iiiddan<33 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | s1mtry | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | SF'100% - REJmo | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Umbrella❗ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DinoH | 771 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | livsarn | 516 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | SF'100% - REJmo | 254 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | iiiddan<33 | 250 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | ☯ iskall ☯ | 243 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Apelgren | +6.67 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | HaGzteR | +4.54 | 82 | 77 |
| #3 | s1mtry | +3.42 | 74 | 68 |
| #4 | ☯ iskall ☯ | +3.11 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | Defju #FanGirl | +1.98 | 69 | 51 |





