








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 242 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1281 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 803 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 398 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,780 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampray69 | 46% | 155 |
| #2 | SharkySharky | 46% | 48 |
| #3 | Doloman | 46% | 179 |
| #4 | Kurtuhkus | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | Swacul the Swag | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SharkySharky | 46% | 48 |
| #3 | Doloman | 46% | 179 |
| #4 | Kurtuhkus | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | Swacul the Swag | 44% | 70 |
| #6 | Wind | 44% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampray69 | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Wind | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Doloman | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Swacul the Swag | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | SharkySharky | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doloman | 797 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | Lampray69 | 430 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Swacul the Swag | 349 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #4 | Wind | 286 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Kurtuhkus | 73 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampray69 | +2.65 | 49 | 43 |
| #2 | Kurtuhkus | +1.16 | 56 | 55 |
| #3 | SharkySharky | +0.92 | 37 | 26 |
| #4 | Swacul the Swag | +0.11 | 44 | 58 |
| #5 | Doloman | -0.48 | 42 | 62 |





