








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3439 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4116 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1878 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1891 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,133,711 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SharkySharky | 48% | 50 |
| #2 | Tyki | 46% | 179 |
| #3 | Kurtuhkus | 46% | 46 |
| #4 | Lampray69 | 45% | 255 |
| #5 | Swacul the Swag | 44% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tyki | 46% | 179 |
| #3 | Kurtuhkus | 46% | 46 |
| #4 | Lampray69 | 45% | 255 |
| #5 | Swacul the Swag | 44% | 104 |
| #6 | Wind | 42% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampray69 | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Wind | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Swacul the Swag | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Tyki | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | SharkySharky | 4 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampray69 | 687 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Swacul the Swag | 478 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | Wind | 404 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kurtuhkus | 118 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tyki | 74 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampray69 | +2.23 | 48 | 42 |
| #2 | Kurtuhkus | +1.55 | 58 | 53 |
| #3 | SharkySharky | +0.58 | 40 | 31 |
| #4 | Swacul the Swag | +0.49 | 44 | 56 |
| #5 | Doloman | -0.75 | 40 | 60 |





