








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1291 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1647 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 261 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 625 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,951 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SharkySharky | 49% | 49 |
| #2 | Kurtuhkus | 47% | 30 |
| #3 | Lampray69 | 44% | 151 |
| #4 | Tyki | 44% | 108 |
| #5 | Doloman | 42% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doloman | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Lampray69 | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Tyki | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Swacul the Swag | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | SharkySharky | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doloman | 563 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Lampray69 | 470 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Swacul the Swag | 255 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kurtuhkus | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tyki | 46 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampray69 | +2.53 | 51 | 45 |
| #2 | Kurtuhkus | +1.52 | 54 | 56 |
| #3 | SharkySharky | +0.97 | 42 | 31 |
| #4 | Swacul the Swag | +0.71 | 44 | 54 |
| #5 | Doloman | -1.71 | 32 | 58 |





