










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1539 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2713 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2925 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1956 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,355,658 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Freaky Fred | 45% | 119 |
| #7 | rizlaQ | 44% | 72 |
| #8 | Astromanium | 33% | 33 |
| #9 | iZexa | 33% | 39 |
| #10 | Halco | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diony | 18 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | peak male performance | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | chilly | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | rizlaQ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | iZexa | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chilly | 420 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Freaky Fred | 346 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Diony | 296 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | peak male performance | 285 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | iZexa | 207 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harisius | +3.24 | 69 | 70 |
| #2 | Diony | +2.34 | 53 | 49 |
| #3 | iZexa | +1.62 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | Halco | +1.22 | 54 | 55 |
| #5 | Freaky Fred | +0.67 | 51 | 56 |





