








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3485 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3309 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5378 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2722 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4226 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $905,569 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | chilly | 49% | 331 |
| #9 | Halco | 48% | 65 |
| #10 | iZexa | 46% | 35 |
| #11 | Mišokrawa | 45% | 119 |
| #12 | Diony | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chilly | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | peak male performance | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Mišokrawa | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | rizlaQ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Halco | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chilly | 780 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | peak male performance | 574 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | Halco | 208 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | ED1K | 208 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | iZexa | 189 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ED1K | +2.39 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | Harisius | +2.22 | 62 | 75 |
| #3 | Diony | +2.15 | 59 | 48 |
| #4 | OXYG3N | +1.30 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | iZexa | +1.28 | 73 | 60 |





