








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 437 | 24% |
| Smokes | 568 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 633 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 215 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,283 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyro | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | zaka888 | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | soysauce | 61% | 49 |
| #4 | MatoWonderchild | 59% | 58 |
| #5 | Franky Seals | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | zaka888 | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | soysauce | 61% | 49 |
| #4 | MatoWonderchild | 59% | 58 |
| #5 | Franky Seals | 51% | 37 |
| #6 | Guigarcez | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soysauce | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | MatoWonderchild | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | zaka888 | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Franky Seals | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Pyro | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MatoWonderchild | 145 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | soysauce | 108 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pyro | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Franky Seals | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | zaka888 | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MatoWonderchild | +3.80 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | soysauce | +1.50 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | Mario™ | +0.61 | 76 | 52 |
| #4 | Pyro | -0.96 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | Guigarcez | -1.34 | 50 | 35 |





