








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 952 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1025 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1365 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 960 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1237 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,631 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guigarcez | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Mario™ | 59% | 58 |
| #3 | soysauce | 58% | 115 |
| #4 | zaka888 | 54% | 94 |
| #5 | Franky Seals | 52% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mario™ | 59% | 58 |
| #3 | soysauce | 58% | 115 |
| #4 | zaka888 | 54% | 94 |
| #5 | Franky Seals | 52% | 81 |
| #6 | Pyro | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soysauce | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | zaka888 | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Franky Seals | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Pyro | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Mario™ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soysauce | 245 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Pyro | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Franky Seals | 106 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mario™ | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | zaka888 | 45 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MatoWonderchild | +3.21 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | soysauce | +1.17 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | Mario™ | +0.47 | 76 | 52 |
| #4 | Guigarcez | -1.65 | 48 | 45 |
| #5 | zaka888 | -2.13 | 50 | 48 |





