








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3168 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2695 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2821 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3092 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,003 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 671 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluu | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | Tjmizzy | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | β’pΓΌrp1Ξ΅hazΞ΅β’ | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | Curse | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | π°ππππππ | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | π°ππππππ | 50% | 60 |
| #6 | milflover83 | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | fugg β plz love jesus | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | Tip | 45% | 60 |
| #9 | Ach17d | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ach17d | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | bluu | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Tjmizzy | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tip | 288 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | π°ππππππ | 178 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | β’pΓΌrp1Ξ΅hazΞ΅β’ | 141 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ach17d | 130 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | milflover83 | 54 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tip | +1.65 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | Doc_Deus | +1.52 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | bluu | +1.47 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | fugg β plz love jesus | +1.37 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | Curse | +0.78 | 84 | 53 |





