








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 495 | 31% |
| Smokes | 206 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 556 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 327 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,626 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monk | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | dawg | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | jloob | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Pseudo | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Ktulu #GSU | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ktulu #GSU | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | mob1e | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ktulu #GSU | 111 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | jloob | 87 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Spicy Vaseline | 71 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | mob1e | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | dawg | 21 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pseudo | +1.95 | 91 | 49 |
| #2 | dawg | +1.53 | 85 | 46 |
| #3 | MiLo | +0.84 | 83 | 50 |
| #4 | jloob | +0.64 | 74 | 45 |
| #5 | monk | -0.34 | 68 | 62 |





