










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 427 | 22% |
| Smokes | 765 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 299 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 411 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,747 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yessir | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | lolipiss | 75% | 32 |
| #3 | Sharp | 68% | 28 |
| #4 | brother ron | 68% | 34 |
| #5 | Stews | 68% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | lolipiss | 75% | 32 |
| #3 | Sharp | 68% | 28 |
| #4 | brother ron | 68% | 34 |
| #5 | Stews | 68% | 37 |
| #6 | GOLIATH DEMON WARLORD | 67% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolipiss | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolipiss | 204 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sharp | 165 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #3 | GOLIATH DEMON WARLORD | 152 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | brother ron | 144 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Stews | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolipiss | +3.68 | 84 | 74 |
| #2 | GOLIATH DEMON WARLORD | +2.55 | 82 | 49 |
| #3 | Sharp | +1.32 | 78 | 75 |
| #4 | brother ron | +1.13 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | yessir | -0.81 | 70 | 52 |





