








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 670 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Esplay | 23 matches | 1,567 | |
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1367 | 25% |
| Smokes | 956 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1533 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1621 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,971 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happy B O B ! [BIG B],π | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Bagarereππ‘ππ | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | Big Karne | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Unc | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | BubbaLiCious | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Unc | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | BubbaLiCious | 43% | 21 |
| #6 | Hovenroven | 43% | 42 |
| #7 | FΓ₯gelmamman | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | PESTO plumsers.cf | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hovenroven | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | PESTO plumsers.cf | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Big Karne | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Unc | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | BubbaLiCious | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bagarereππ‘ππ | 193 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hovenroven | 120 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | BubbaLiCious | 82 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Happy B O B ! [BIG B],π | 76 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Big Karne | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hovenroven | +2.63 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | BubbaLiCious | +2.17 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | ConnyS | +1.51 | 77 | 47 |
| #4 | Big Karne | +0.89 | 59 | 59 |
| #5 | PESTO plumsers.cf | -0.05 | 57 | 59 |





