








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1115 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




139 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2240 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2506 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4769 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 2605 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,284,602 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeatDestroyer44 | 52% | 134 |
| #2 | Moe | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | WHY? | 51% | 102 |
| #4 | Professor Tart | 47% | 141 |
| #5 | Jonny | 46% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeatDestroyer44 | 52% | 134 |
| #2 | Moe | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | WHY? | 51% | 102 |
| #4 | Professor Tart | 47% | 141 |
| #5 | Jonny | 46% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonny | 18 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Professor Tart | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | BeatDestroyer44 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | WHY? | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Moe | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonny | 687 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | BeatDestroyer44 | 350 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Moe | 311 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | WHY? | 299 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Professor Tart | 116 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe | +1.40 | 54 | 76 |
| #2 | Jonny | +1.08 | 71 | 75 |
| #3 | BeatDestroyer44 | +0.48 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | Americas_Finest | +0.42 | 79 | 28 |
| #5 | WHY? | -0.01 | 65 | 53 |





